


Dear Theon

by northernfieldsforever



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: A happier ending exists in another life somewhere, And feels, Canon but I added gay subtext, Heavy Angst, M/M, Theons fate and how they reunite is up to the reader, but not here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:40:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23529301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northernfieldsforever/pseuds/northernfieldsforever
Summary: 5 times Robb could have written Theon a letter. (+1 time he sent him away with one)
Relationships: Theon Greyjoy/Robb Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	Dear Theon

**1.**

Dear Theon, I think that was your name, I was so glad to see my father had come home finally that it took me a while to realise what people were talking about. A Greyjoy has come to Winterfell. Men were also cheering, they had made a victory and came home happy to their own sons and daughters and wives. It was a cause for celebration but it's been a week and you still seem so miserable and lonely. I suppose that's not a surprise, I'd hate to be taken from my siblings, my mother and my father...I think I would cry for days even if I'm to be a man grown in a few years, I hope that doesn't make you think badly of me, I want to make a good first impression. Do you have any brothers back home? Maybe we could be like brothers too one day, I've been told not to get too close to you and to stick to playing with my own siblings but it doesn't sound fair for you to be left out. Especially not if you're staying with us for a while, everyone deserves to fit in somewhere. I've been thinking about how I'll approach you, perhaps tomorrow and I hope you won't turn me down. Even if you do, I won't stop trying, someone has got to show you around after all if they haven't already. There's so many things to do in Winterfell, we could play in the Godswoods or explore the crypts or if swords are more your thing, we can train together and maybe one day we'll fight side by side and you'd be able to see your family again! There's Jon too, Mother says he's a bastard but he's still my brother to me. He can be a bit quiet and moody but I hope we will all get along, please do feel free to join us in training or just whenever you see us. I look forward to having another brother and I hope you'll be happy here.  
  
  
**2.**

Dear Theon, We're pretty much men now, can you believe it? I can't. Sometimes I feel like I'm still a child like when we first met and it took me days to pluck up the courage to talk to you. Do you ever feel like that? Perhaps not, you've always been so confident and sure of yourself, I remember our first time hunting or the first time you went off with a girl and you came back and proclaimed that you now knew what it meant to be a man. You were always so determined to prove yourself at every training session and while I may best you with a sword, I don't think there's anyone who can make an arrow fly as well and accurately as you. You were a bit frustrating with your smugness but I confess I also felt proud of you in the end. You never did miss a target which brings me to the next part of this letter to you...an apology. I'm sorry I was so hard on you when you were only trying to save Bran. It's been so hard lately to deal with everything and I worry it's all going wrong suddenly when I've barely begun my journey into manhood. My father and sisters are down south, I fear for them, especially after we almost lost Bran. We're all so lucky to still have him here and I should have thanked you instead of being so quick to chastise you. I was scared and angry but not at you, not really. I understand that it might have made you feel that I didn't trust you or appreciate what you did, but I think I'll always trust you and will always want you around. Please stay by my side, I don't want to have made a mistake already, your friendship has meant a lot to me over the years and I hope we'll be alright.  
  
  
**3.**

Dear Theon, It's only been a day and I miss you already. You and your smiles and comments that always make me laugh even if everyone else thinks you're inappropriate, you make me smile even when I shouldn't. Everything is even more serious than it was without you, so much is expected of me and while each battle has been a victory the war is far from over and I still worry about the outcome. I've always been the less confident one of us both who likes to be careful and I've never even kissed a girl, or anyone. You joked about showing me how to once and I still wonder about what might have happened if I had decided to take you up on that offer. For now, I just hope your mission to Pyke goes well. I hope your reunion with your family goes well and most importantly, I hope you return safely. We both know the addition of your fathers ships would aid greatly in us winning this war together but I've said before that I don't care about the glory or winning the throne. I just want my family back and you're part of that family, to me anyway, I look forward to being back in Winterfell, learning how to be a Lord, with my parents, my siblings, and you by my side. I meant to say that even if your mission fails I'll still be here for you, I don't care what anyone says, I'll always trust you like I said I would. I'm here waiting, now and always like we said.   
  
  
**4.**

Dear- I don't know what to call you right now. I know what everyone else is calling you. Turncloak. Traitor. Either way it's something starting with a T. I feel like a fool now for trusting a Greyjoy and I hate you for it. I hate you. Is this what you truly wanted? Did you hate us all this whole time and you were just waiting for an opportunity to strike? Did you hate me? You must hate me if you can stab me in the back like this. I thought we were friends. Brothers, you said it first. Why would you say it if you didn't even mean it? Who does that? I hate you. I feel like you've struck me in the chest with another one of your well aimed arrows. How could you? I thought I could trust you and that you could never displease me but you've gone and managed to make me feel angry and betrayed. I hope you're proud of that and I hope it was worth it. You're probably doing that laugh you do now, and talking about how you made a Stark like you but you never cared about me. Otherwise you wouldn't have done what you did. If you wanted a castle so badly, I would have given you as many as you wanted if we won the war. I would have given you anything. Now I know all you were planning on giving me was regret, I should have trusted someone else with that letter to your father. I don't even know if it was ever delivered. I don't know anything anymore, all I seem to be doing is making mistakes, but I never thought you would be one of them. Will you even show remorse when I come to execute you? Or will you laugh in my face? I don't know if I want to know the answer. I'd like an answer to one question though. Why Theon? Why did you do it? But maybe it won't matter, I've lost you either way.  
  
  
**5.**

Dear Theon, I've been dead for a while now. But I haven't moved on yet, it's strange, it's like I'm stuck in this place, waiting for...something. Or someone. It's occurred to me just how much of a child I still was, all my fears came true and I didn't know what to do with them and I lost everything. Or maybe they lost me. I know my mother is dead, I hope she has found my father again, but my brothers aren't here. They're still alive, somehow. I've been learning of some other truths as well. It turns out I don't think I knew you as well as I thought I did. I looked up to you and believed you to be so sure of yourself but now I know we were both scared. Deep down. I know you would never admit that, you have too much pride and you'd do anything to prove yourself and impress everyone. Or at least you used to be like that. I've been watching you and what I've seen has broken my heart, more than how broken it felt when I first heard of your betrayal. My death was messy but it had an end yet you're still suffering for your own mistakes. I fear you may think I wished for you to suffer but I didn't, not like this. I told Bolton to stop, I wanted a clean death for you, I'd never wish that amount of torture on anyone. Not even a Lannister. Now I'm not sure I wanted you to die truly, if you had came before me and begged for forgiveness and shown you were sorry, and if I knew my brothers were alive, I might have spared you. Is that a weak thing to admit? Perhaps, but I always had a weak spot for you. I've wondered how I could have changed things when it came to us, as well as everything else. Maybe instead of sending you to Pyke I should have kissed you that day and told you to stay. Not because I didn't trust you, because I needed you by my side. We both might have been better off...or I could have easily made the same mistakes and died anyway. And I would have hated to get you killed. Maybe my first mistake was not realising how lonely you were. I should have known that calling you my brother wouldn't have been enough, you deserved a family of your own that loved you and I'm sorry you didn't get that. I wish I had been able to say the right words or take the right actions that might have made things end better for us both. Maybe we will meet again and we can do things right, we'll fix things, you and I. Whether it's in the afterlife or another life altogether in a different time. A better time with less war and misery. I hope that time comes soon. And when you come perhaps I'll have the chance to say the words I always meant to say.  
  
P.S I'm still waiting.  
  
  
_+1 It had been a bittersweet farewell, Robb had written the letter himself, making sure to sound as respectful as he could, if Balon agreed then this war could turn into the sweetest victory for him. He would miss his best friend though, there had been a moment before he left where Robb had wanted to say something...had wanted to make their parting feel more special. But instead he had kept his words formal hoping the brief hand on his friends shoulder would send an unspoken message. ( 'I'll be here waiting, no matter what you could never let me down') He'd have a chance to say more later, they'd see each other again and Theon was confident their plan would work. Robb believed in him, trusted him, why wouldn't he? They had made a vow._

_Now and Always._

**Author's Note:**

> I had Clarity by Zedd in my head for Throbb while writing this but decided to change the title to a simple and personal one and it rhymes with "Dear John" if you say Theon fast enough, hope you enjoyed :)


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